We are indeed a people of peace. But do not be deceived brethren. . . Take up your sword, wipe the dust from the blade. A war is upon us.

The Following is a quote by C.H. Spurgeon

" The Church of Christ is continually represented under the figure of an army; yet its captain is the Prince of Peace; its object is the establishment of peace, and its soldiers are men of a peaceful disposition. The spirit of war is at the extreme opposite point to the spirit of the gospel. Yet nevertheless, the Church on earth has, and until the second advent must be, the Church militant, the Church armed, the Church warring, the Church conquering. And how is this? It is in the very order of things that so it must be. Truth could not be truth in this world if it were not a warring thing, and we should at once suspect that it were not true if error were friends with it. The Spotless purity of the Truth must always be at war with the blackness and heresy of lies."

The following words are those of a new chorus I have written in an attempt to communicate the place I sometimes find myself . . . in the waiting. When it seems the Lord is silent, when the end isn't clear. In these times, however, I have found that He is just teaching me the urgent need for constant prayer, consistent communion, and renewal of my mind in His spoken Word. Every day of my life I need to be reminded of my utter dependency upon the person and work of Christ. Praise be unto God for His perserverant patience, faithfulness, and grace despite my tendencies to be faithless and lazy. He is always good. I am so glad He is not like me.

Bare and broken

until You clothe me

until You heal me.

Words unspoken

leave me empty

they leave me empty.

God, is mine not a noble longing?

To hear Your voice,

to hear You calling?

Lord, as my knees hit the earth,

I am seeing there's no worth in any other.

For You alone I wait in silence

Til these distant cries are covered

Covered.

Read Psalm 62:5-8

It will be good for your soul.

The hum of the speakers

The buzz of the bass,

Silence now broken,

She finds here no place.

Hear how the music

Slowly fills the air

Resounds in the depth

Of a place yet unseen . . .

A place deep

Deep inside of me.

Those who have sight

Cannot see

Those who can hear

Are deaf as of yet.

How to know the music?

Not from without.

No. . .

From within.

written 2-7-08

He is a Personal Savior- God's Grace in my life

Silence has returned to haunt me once more. . . How quickly long-lost yesterdays and forgotten tears suppressed by the dust of my busy years- seem to come alive by way of some event spurring on quite a violent spell of reminiscence. Heaviness- a rapid beating of my heart. . .A scream deep inside- a moaning in my deepest being- agony- I remember the chains- the indescribable pain at the thought of . . . How terror grips me as even now the memory has not escaped me of the shackles that bound my soul. The silence that would not part, bearing her curse upon my heart. The chill in my bones- the aching death of my decaying flesh. The mirror of revelation which soon became an obsession- daily did I face it- every sleepless night the image of blackness would be my recurring nightmare(James 1:22-25). A constant falling into the abyss of darkness with no hope to ever see the dawn of day- or feel the warmth of love. And truly all my reality seemed to be a terrible dreamworld from which no escape route could ever be trod. No evidence of an existing exit seemed to be found. My helplessness was ever before me. I had never known the truth of love and joy- or a happy heart. These things to me were only as real as a storybook fantasy- fairy tales that could never be known- foreign concepts that I could not truly grasp. My tortured soul desired a truth, a firm reality, an established existence, solid ground. My desperate attempts to dig a way out proved to fail. Every plan- grand as they were- lay in ruins behind me- foiled by my own humanity. I realized that my being was indeed a spiritual invalid in every way- incapable of initiating or responding. Trapped, hopeless, helpless, awaiting my well deserved imminent doom- I was destined for eternal death. My weakness of flesh stood no chance of victory in the battle that ensued. I was no warrior. But then, Behold a Miracle! God in His great mercy- with a love unconditional that I can ne'er comprehend- He made Him who knew no sin to be sin on my behalf!(2nd Corinthians 5:21) He crushed His one and only precious Son.(John 3:16) He was bruised for my transgressions, my iniquity(Isaiah 53:5). . . though I was His enemy and harbored hatred for Him within my blackened heart(Romans 5:6-10). . . He displayed His unconditional love for all mankind- for me, in coming as a baby- a lowly human child-(Matthew 1:18-24) a carpenter's son, accused of illegitimacy, non-attractive in appearance, short in stature- a Galilean- rejected by His own -the Jews. He was loved by few, despised by many(John15:18-24), hated and spat upon, cursed by the very ones He came to save(John 19:14-16). In submission to His Father's will( John17:1-5)(Luke22:42), He endured death- even death on cross- treated more brutally than the others who were truly criminals(Luke 23:26-49). He was mocked(Matthew 26:65-67) and not simply beaten, but torn to pieces with torturous instruments in repetition until He could no longer be recognized(Matthew 27:26-28, Mark 15:15-17, Luke 23:24-25, John19:16). A mock-crown of thorns was pressed onto His precious head, causing His perfect blood, my redemption, to flow freely down His face and mutilated body(Matthew 27:29-31, Mark15:18-22, Luke 23:26-33, John 19:17). Still- my heart cried along with the angry crowd- Crucify Him!(Matthew 27:22-23) Then He was nailed to a Roman cross of wood by His hands and feet- suspended between heaven and earth(Luke 23:33-34) to satisfy the Father's Justice and wrath for the Glory of His Name that He might then pour out unconditional love upon the very ones who hated Him and spat upon Him- including me personally. Then darkness fell over the face of the earth, the cup of God's wrath was poured out upon His only son, Jesus Christ, for the weight of every sin had been laid on His shoulders(Matthew 27:45-46). And when the great exchange had taken place- His perfect blood for the redemption of our sins- my sins-that all who truly place their whole-hearted faith, hope, and complete trust in Him might experience Salvation(John 3:16)- when this had taken place- He, Christ, cried out with a loud voice, "It is finished!" and breathed His last(John 19:30, Luke 23:46). Then He arose three days later to fulfill that which had been prophesied. (Luke 24:1-7)That He might be our royal High Priest- ever-interceding for us at the right hand of God our Father(Hebrews 9:11-12,10:5-14). He is a Living Savior! He died once for all! By God's grace, my heart was opened, and my ears able to hear, He removed the blinders that I might see the light of the glory of the gospel of Christ. He granted me the ability to respond in repentance and faith by quickening my spirit to life. The light of His truth pierced through the blackness of my heart(Colossians 1:13-14). And I received what I could not resist- the truly irresistible grace gift of Salvation through the blood of Christ which cleansed me and made me new(. How beautiful to be bound in Christ, to know true love, joy, peace, and a happy heart! Although my flesh and my heart fail, I know that God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever(Psalm 73:26). And so I cling to Christ, my only Hope.(Galatians 6:14, 2nd Corinthians 4:7)

When Satan tempts me to despair

and tells me of the guilt within,

upward I look and see Him there

Who made an end of all my sin.

Because the Sinless Savior died,

my sinful soul is counted free.

For God the Just is satisfied,

to look on Him and pardon me.

(Before the throne of God Above)

(Words by Charitie Bancroft 1863)

I must always remember that I may never forget.

Faithfulness

This past weekend was a glorious reminder of the Lord's Faithfulness. Two of my very dearest friends, Caleb and Annie Young*, were just married Saturday, April the 12th. To know their story of waiting and preparation, and then to see how the Lord perfectly planned every bit of it to culminate in their union that day blessed my soul. God has so designed every aspect of their lives, every event, in order to prepare them to love and cherish and perfectly compliment one another for His glory. In my frequent spiritual introspection, I would often tend to worry due to my realization of what little strength I possess, while to a much greater degree anxious due to the great amount of disorganization and forgetfulness that I do possess. But although God is a God of order, and commands that we be holy as He is holy, His faithfulness endures even when we are faithless. God is not like a man who returns only what he deems necessary, according to the measure that he has been given. No, God is God, and He is faithful because He is faithful. He keeps His promises because He promised to keep them. He acts according to His character, far beyond what we could ever think or ask. He is the exceeder of our expectations. Not to say that I expect a rose and receive a field of roses. I may receive a field of thorns. However, that may be what is necessary for my sanctification, that Christ might be more of a reality in my life, that I might be more conformed to His image for the Glory of God. This is the ultimate good. The good referred to in Romans 8:28,"And we know that all things work together for the good of those who love the Lord and are called according to His purpose." The ultimate good is not always physically or spiritually comfortable. The Lord has called us to take up our cross and follow Him. In so doing, we leave behind our safety and our comfort, and indeed everything to which we previously were clinging, for Jesus, our very own Pearl of Greatest Price. To rest in the sovereignty of God and know that He is faithful, despite our failings, is beautiful indeed, freeing to the utmost. With God granting the grace to see with new eyes of faith, fixed upon the cross, firmheld by his grace, I have no need of worry, I am truly freed from the bondage of anxiety. Praise the Lord! Do you realize, dear Saint, what a treasure you possess? We are but earthen vessels(2.Cor.4:7)and yet house the Pearl of Christ within. What a privilege, what and honor! Why do we fear? Why do we tremble before man? Why do we worry about what tomorrow may bring? I pray that God may empower me to stand and honestly say, "For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain."(Phil.1:21). I encourage you too, dear reader, to find rest in the bosom of Christ, to never forget the unforgettable gospel, the cross which compels you, the Risen Savior who has redeemed you, the Spirit who fills you and strengthens you, and the God of all creation who holds all things together and has promised to never leave you or forsake you. May God richly bless you as you seek to dwell in the deepest recesses of Him. Praise the Lord!
Clay in the Potter's Hands,
Robin